Understanding Instincts: An ADHD Therapist’s Perspective

So… should I actually trust my gut? That’s a solid question!

As a mental health therapist, I rely on my instincts during the sessions I have with clients. It is imperative that I trust what I have to say; but it is even more imperative that I LISTEN to what they say, because listening to words, body language, and expressions are how I gauge what someone is saying to formulate a response. .

As a teen and early twenty-something-year-old, I had a lot of confidence in my instincts. School came easily to me, so my instincts were reinforced with high grades in high school and in college; and then again in graduate school.

As I have aged, that confidence has probably lessened to some degree.

For about 5 years, I worked for an organization that was not a great fit for me. It had a long history of bureaucracy, which was totally new to me.

I was raised in a farm community (Tipton, Indiana) where we valued all roles at all times. We valued the soil that is one of the richest in the nation, and we valued the work we did in the corn fields to detassel the corn. In fact, at the time I worked at the bureaucratic company, Bureau was part of the name. They have since changed names to a more egalitarian sounding company, but I digress.

I learned while I worked there to tell my direct supervisor anything that was important to me. Previous to that role, I had reported to the President, or Executive Director, so being a Middle Manager was hard for me. I am the second of three children, so being number two was definitely in my comfort zone.

I also learned to question myself, which has been difficult to unlearn. I learned that my instincts get me into ‘trouble’, or can be met with disdain. I learned, or at least was told, that the executive director did not like email. Email was at that time my preferred way to communicate

I also learned how to function in a bureaucracy. I learned it the hard way, and have since moved on to another position. I report to the Director, who owns the practice where I work.

I have learned again to trust my instincts, as they are generally accurate. I have also learned to ask questions of those around me again. I had stopped doing that for a period of time during my transition from Indiana to Texas.

Texas is a whole different world from Indiana. We like to be independent, have little to do with the police unless a crime is committed, and generally like to be left alone unless we need help.

I would say, to answer the question as it was originally asked, that I do in general trust my instincts. I live by motivational-ly interviewing my clients who allow it, and sometimes guess wrong. Lucky for me, talk therapy includes non-verbal communication. I can get an idea if I guess wrong and the person is hesitant to verbalize that.

As you reflect today on your instincts and the degree to which you trust them, I urge you to consider the individuals who provide you with support in your life.

Who do you turn to when you are unsure if your instincts are accurate or not?

What do you do when an instinct leads you into an inaccurate response?

I encourage you to trust yourself, and to have a strong sense of self.

I’m encouraging my clients to watch ‘Inside Out 2’. It has a great description of sense of self, as well as doing a great job of explaining Anxiety, Ennui, Disgust, Nostalgia, and the characters from the first one; Joy, Anger, Sadness, and another one or two I am currently forgetting.

Let’s all work to have confidence in ourselves in moderation, as it promotes a strong sense of self and helps us to succeed in our roles