Indiana girl at heart 46062 317-350-0037 tparke@terriswritings.com MWF 9a-12p Tuesday-Thursday 2p-4pm Also by appointment

Hippos are Fun, Tea is Fun, and Trauma is Less Fun But Super-Interesting

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I like books, uno games, and things that make me smile. 

I’m not as big of a fan of organizing things in a line 🙂


I like hippos dancing with tutus


I’m not such a big fan of silence, being formal, and sounds that are meant to scare, because I am very sound oriented.


To read more about things I like and dislike, please click the link below. 

https://thriveglobal.com/stories/woes-of-a-tea-lover/

hope you enjoy the read!

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Got a messy desk? Me too! What I Love About Clutter, and What I Dislike About the Phrase ‘Mental Health Problems’

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I am a huge fan of convenience.

I eat out too much because I want to eat as soon as I feel hungry.

We have electronic cords spread all over our house. If any of us want to charge something, we want to be able to use it while it is charging.

We have our couch where I can pull the cord through, and watch TV at a lower volume since it is farther away from me than the other people who might be in the room. This includes the dude that sleeps on the other side of the bed from me.

He likes the TV a little bit louder, and I like it a to play a little more quietly (just to clarify, this is TV volume here, not a love of human voices)

Backtrack

Truth: All of those things used to be true.  We moved our couch to the other side of the room for ‘flow’.

Here’s the Con: Now I can’t reach the cord if something needs charged.  I used to be farther from the tv because I like it quieter and I like to lay on the couch as I watch TV. Now, the laying down part of the couch is where the TV is too loud for me, while being too quiet for the other people in the room (husband and sons included here). 🙂

Side note: I just had to pause, find the cord for this computer I am using, (since I had put it away) untangle the cord, and move to sitting on the floor due to the outlet not being close to the couch.

Ok, back on track.

Since we are selling our house, we ‘get’ to put everything away and live clutter free.  Just a few things that are a pain about that.

  • Pro: Nothing is on our counter. It looks so clean and pretty.
    • Con: Every morning, I ‘get’ to get my hair dryer out, plug it in, re-wrap the cord, and put it away. My previous habit was leaving it plugged in, resting on the floor so it is ready to go, and just turning it on and drying my hair so I look presentable enough.
  • Pro: Our medicine and vitamins are put away and the counter looks ‘so nice and clean’.
    • Con: I ‘get’ to hunt for the vitamins and medicine I take every morning instead of leaving them on the counter where I can take one, move it to the side, then move to the next one, and then put them back as if we have a pharmacy section to our house.
  • Pro: I have completely cleaned off tables and counters at all time, except when I am actively cooking or eating. Looks great. Bed is made to look ‘so pretty and nice’.
    • Con: I ‘get’ to immediately wipe crumbs off the table after I eat, and I have to make that silly bed in case someone wants to see it.

I think you get the idea.  I’m not a tidy person, but I try.  Sometimes I need a little help in prioritizing clean surfaces  I am not a fan of clutter that isn’t useful.

Seriously though, this is ridiculous.  I feel like I’m living in someone else’s home because my creature comforts, including the honey sititing by the coffee maker that I like to put in my tea, the million pictures of my kids and places we’ve been that were put on various walls, are now in a closet ready to move to their new home, and we’ve painted the walls ‘neutral’ in the majority of our rooms. I am trying to play along, but it really isn’t my strength.

Anyway, that’s not the real issue I’m having of course.  Those are just minor annoyances while I plot to figure out how to sell this house to the person who wants it for the price they can pay.

Next topic: Mental Health Problems.  My current focus for this negative energy I’ve got going on 

What is my irritation really about this morning?

I woke up to the TV personality talking about what percentage of people have mental health problems, and how the number is so much higher than we think.

So my immediate, knee jerk response is ‘really?? a lot of people have too many emotions and get angry??

I propose everyone stop saying mental health problems.  It’s like saying 40% of people get angry.  Let’s spread the word to end the word, and say emotions and feelings.

I am feisty, as you might have guessed.  Also, I get my energy from people and I like structure.  I’m fairly opinionated and I’m used to having people to supervise.

People sometimes call me ‘too nice’.  I re-frame that to ‘very sensitive to others feelings’.

Others get thrown off by my quick anger response that I have (tried to) learn to temper, being socialized as woman for all of these 48 years.

Being slow to anger really isn’t my temperament, so the socialization hasn’t taken very well.

But it’s there.  I’m on a tear about this mental health problems phrase.  It’s not mental health problems, it’s not mental health issues, it is health.  It is issues.  It is feelings.

People who are verbal like to talk about their problems and there are lots of benefits from doing it with a professional who is trained in the field, with a natural propensity to feelings, connecting, a match for you, etc.

People who do not like to verbalize can find talk therapy super painful and usually can be fairly good at utilizing other coping mechanisms, like listening to music, creating, resting, watching a movie, exercising, or something else that doesn’t involve talking with other people. People who do not like to verbalize can also really enjoy talk therapy, because it provides a chance for them to put words to feelings in a way that they may not typically do.

Or, those same people, the verbalizers and the non-verbalizers, and those that are somewhere in between?

Some are terrible about getting their own needs met.

Hey, I’ve got an idea. I’m going to go first and you follow me.

Let’s say, we are all trying to get our needs met. Let’s say, some are better at that than others 

In Summary

We all have emotions, and currently I have a little too much time and not quite enough to do.

Rather than overwhelm my friends who are trying to work or do something else, I’ll write it down, and people who are interested can read it.

Gotta go.  Have to find some interesting pics, and harness this energy to go toward correcting my typos.

Let’s work together to come up with a new phrase for spread the word to end the word as it relates to mental health issues.  

If you have an idea, I’m certainly open to hearing it. Maybe you can think about it and tell a friend, or even just think about it.

My name is Terri, and I love to chat.

Swimmers, Take Your Mark!….Hold on, Just a Second

An article about anticipation, waiting, and having fun doing it.

Ready to go down the slide-It’s all about anticipation

Savoring the Moments

You know that feeling when you are about to jump off a high dive into a pool?

Or just as the plane is lifting off and you have that feeling of weightlessness?

Or when you are at the very top of the roller coaster and about to go really fast?

or

climbing a tree higher than you thought you were going to be able to?

That’s kind of where we have been with things right now.

Also-I love risk.

Those above experiences? I love doing all of those experiences. My favorite part of the plane ride is lift off. I try to pay attention to that first feeling of flying, and am kind of sad when I start reading my book too early and miss it.

I could write a pretty long story about how I took some risks at a ropes course during a work retreat, and ended up with a partially torn bicep.

The partial tear made it very difficult to write or type, which were two pretty big aspects of my job.

Another time I took risk affected my work was when that didn’t work out so well was when I participated in race called ‘The Warrior Dash’.

The Warrior Dash is a pretty physically strenuous competition where participants race for 5k with obstacles. While walking between events, I twisted my knee slipping in mud. My office at the time was on the second floor of a 100 year old house, so I had some challenges getting up and down those stairs for a bit.

My love of risk and my youthful exuberance for life tend to override my ‘stop’ signal. The ‘stop’ signal, which is really helpful in preventing injuries, since I am stuck with these overly stretchy, unreliable ligaments.

My history is to jump when possible, climb higher or ‘go for it’

Soon, we will be moving to the Dallas, Texas area. Our house is for sale, and when someone puts in an offer on our house, we’ll put in an offer on one we will have picked out.

Until that happens, we will wait.

To me, this waiting feels like standing at the end of the diving board and looking down.

Now waiting? Waiting isn’t my favorite part of things. I am working to become better at waiting on a daily basis.

For the past few months, we have felt pretty rushed.

I had surgery in December, I recovered, we had the holidays, and then my boys came home to turn 21.

At the time, it seemed like it would be the last time they would be in our Noblesville house for any length of time.

We have lived in this specific house since they were 8, so we’re talking about 13 years of development in their lives.

When they went back to school, it was time to go to into overdrive in getting the house ready.

Somewhere near Dallas, Jan. 2019
It felt a little like a break in house preparing to go to Texas a couple of times to look at houses. After our house was on the market and we came home for the second time, I tagged along on a business trip while people ‘looked at our house’.
Polar Vortex, 2019
Polar Vortex

You might remember the Polar Vortex in January 2019. Remember when the Midwest was -11 or -9 or so? Well, those were the days I had determined, in my mind, that people would be looking at our house.

It turns out, very few people want to look to buy houses in negative degree temperatures.

Control For me, it is a good reminder about control.

I had decided on a schedule, and that schedule is taking longer than I had allowed. Even though I know that our house will sell at some point and that we will move at that point to Texas, I also know that it will be both hard and fun in many, many ways. I also have heard that January is really not the best time to put a house on the market, particularly in Indiana.

As a matter of fact, I am pretty sure it is one of the worst.

But still, even with all of that information, that is what I had anticipated.

So, here we go. I am going to try to make the best of it.

While we are in pause mode waiting for our buyer, I’m thinking of some things I savor, and some benefits to having more time than I need on my hands.

During this time, we will wait for that perfect family who wants to pick up with their family memories where we left have left off.

Our boys started helping us make our memories in those home when they were 8, and they are now 21.

Most days while we are ‘For Sale’, I make my bed perfectly.

I’ve been able to go to lunch with friends, schedule upcoming lunches and dinners with friends and family, and go to community meetings I enjoyed going to with a previous job. At am also able to have extended texting conversations with friends and family.

I get to really think about where I want to live in the Dallas area and what I’m looking for in the area where we choose to live.

I’m not a big ‘house’ person, (meaning the particulars of where I live are less important to me than it is to others).

My decorating skills are about the same as a 4th grader with very little interest in decorating. I care about an open kitchen where I can see the living room, a good sized closet, and I really want a pool.

Mostly, I care about community, and ways to get to chat with people who may become my friends.

I’m figuring out what my employment will be, and how to transfer a mental health license to a state that uses a different test than Indiana does.

A goal I’m going to try is to try to treat this time like I do when I eat one of my favorite snacks, Oreos and milk.

When I eat Oreos with milk, I like to sit down, with the 2 cookies and the milk, and really focus on the flavors (I need to figure out how to do that with salad…eh, probably not).

I get frustrated if I get interrupted and eat the cookies without paying attention to the flavors that I enjoy.

Sometimes, when I eat a cookie on my way to the couch, I go back for a third cookie so that I have 2 while I’m sitting. I try to savor the experience, just like I try to pay attention to that moment of lift off in a plane. That moment of freedom. That leap of faith jumping into the air over a pool. That feeling of climbing up one more branch in a tree to go higher and then look down. Riding my bike too fast down a hill.

These are moments that I’ve always enjoyed.

Until then…we wait. Ready to jump, but the water isn’t quite ready for us yet.

Swimmers Take your Mark…….

(Hold on a second, you got this)

Take a second and enjoy your time til the race starts.

We love our house. It’s been filled with love, laughter, talking, negotiating, and lots and lots of conversations!

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